Zoo by Radarsoft in english

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By Grauw

Ascended (10074)

Grauw's picture

09-02-2017, 12:43

ren wrote:

Like Grauw proposed (1): USE <object> ........ <subject> [WON'T OPEN|WON'T CLOSE]

But that's only possibile if NIET DICHT / NIET OPEN can be extended(?)

"NIET DICHT." and "NIET OPEN." have a period at the end, just leave it out in the English version.

TheKid wrote:

I tried to place the correct link here but apperently spaces aren't allowed.. https://remymsx2.home.xs4all.nl/download/zoo (english).zip

I fixed your link, need to escape the () characters as well for the link to work on msx.org.

By Hrothgar

Champion (479)

Hrothgar's picture

09-02-2017, 13:06

The grammar of these alternatives keeps hurting my brain.

What about
--- < > won't get < > [open. | closed.]
?

By TheKid

Paragon (1191)

TheKid's picture

09-02-2017, 14:30

@Grauw:Thanks for the fix Smile

By FiXato

Scribe (1710)

FiXato's picture

09-02-2017, 15:52

"EEN FLES WHISKY"
"A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY" [moved to 9F0Eh]

I'll be a nitpick here, but whisky and whiskey aren't exactly the same. Call a glass of Scotch 'whiskey', and you might get whacked over the head with the bottle of dram by the angry Scotsman. ;-)

Or as Stanley Bruce put it so aptly:

Quote:

A Scotsman who spells
Whisky with an ‘e’,
should be hand cuffed
and thrown head first in the Dee.

In the USA and Ireland,
it’s spelt with an ‘e’
but in Scotland
it’s real ‘Whisky’.
So if you see Whisky
and it has an ‘e’,
only take it,
if you get it for free!
For the name is not the same
and it never will be,
a dram is only a real dram,
from a bottle of ‘Scotch Whisky’.
~ Stanley Bruce.

16h,"EEN BANK BEWAART GELD."
16h,"A BANK KEEPS MONEY.   " ("A"=C1h) <- Do not change the 16h!

STORES would be better imho. Keeping would indicate they never return it. This might only apply to Icelandic banks. ;-)

2Ch,"$314,159.27 FOR NEW ANIMALS WAS ISSUED LAST "

IMHO 'was issued' should directly follow the amount:

2Ch,"$314,159.27 WAS ISSUED FOR NEW ANIMALS LAST "

Wouldn't it also make more sense to move LAST to the next line, so it's right next to MONTH, as there's plenty of space on the next line already?

26h,"HIER SPEELT ZICH ALLES BOVEN TAFEL AF."
26h,"EVERYTHING'S ABOVE THE COUNTER HERE.  " ("E"=C5h) <- Do not change the 26h!

Isn't the expression "Everything's aboveboard"?

2Ch,"A WELL MAINTAINED PORSCHE FILLS THE GARAGE. " ("A"=C1h) <- Do not change the 2Ch!

I'd hyphen well-maintained:

Quote:

From the MLA (*) Handbook for Writers of Research Papers, 4th edition:

Quote:

2.2.6.a Use a hyphen in a compound adjective beginning with an adverb such as better, best, ill, lower, little, or well when then the adjective precedes a noun. [...]
2.2.6.b Do not use a hyphen in a compound adjective beginning with an adverb ending in -ly or with too, very, or much.

https://forum.wordreference.com/threads/well-badly-maintaine...

33h,"HET KANTOORTJE VAN J.GREIN, DE MAN ACHTER DE KASSA."
33h,"THE OFFICE OF J.GRAIN, THE MAN BEHIND THE REGISTER." ("T"=D4h, "J"=CAh and "G"=C7h) <- Do not change the 33h!

I'd argue that this translation loses the possible intention of the diminutive form of office (kantoortje). Perhaps include 'tiny', or something similar. I'd also replace 'the man behind the register' with 'cashier', for consistency. This should also solve any length issue from adding the 'tiny'.

33h,"THE TINY OFFICE OF J.GRAIN, THE CASHIER." 
26h,"DE TEKSTEN ZIJN DOOR DE ZON VERBLEEKT."
26h,"THE TEXT HAS BEEN FADED BY THE SUN.   " ("T"=D4h) <- Do not change the 26h!

Shouldn't this be kept plural?

30h,"DE BEWAKER VERTELD: "DE LAATSTE TIJD STERVEN ER "
34h,"STEEDS DIEREN. [...]
30h,"THE KEEPER SAYS: "MORE AND    MORE ANIMALS HAVE " ("T"=D4h and "M"=CFh)
2Ah,"BEEN DYING  LATELY. 

I feel that "LATELY ANIMALS KEEP DYING" is closer to the original text, as it doesn't imply the amount of animals dying keeps on increasing.

25h,"EEN JASJE VAN OERDEGELIJKE KWALITEIT."
25h,"A JACKET OF SUPERIOR QUALITY.        " ("A"=C1h) <- Do not change the 25h!

I'd argue that SUPERB is closer to the original meaning.

30h,"IEMAND HEEFT DEZE CASSETTE-RECORDER LATEN STAAN."
30h,"SOMEONE HAS LEFT THIS TAPE RECORDER.            " ("S"=D3h) <- Do not change the 30h!

LEFT BEHIND? Just 'left' makes it sounds like they broke up. ;-)

2Ch,"HE DOES NOT TRUST THE FOOD ANYMORE GIVEN TO " ("H"=C8h)
2Sh,"HIM ROUTINELY LATE EVERY MORNING.            " <-- 12 spaces.

HE NO LONGER TRUSTS THE ROUTINELY DELAYED FOOD, GIVEN TO HIM EVERY MORNING?

2Fh,"TWEE GEMOEDELIJKE DIKHUIDEN STAAN TE MEDITEREN."
2Fh,"TWO EASY-GOING PACHYDERMS ARE MEDITATING.      " ("T"=D4h) <- Do not change the 2Fh!

I rather liked Vampier's suggestion of 'big ears'.

37h,"EEN GROEPJE LEVENDE OVERSTEEKPLAATSEN EN EEN DRONKAARD."
37h,"A SMALL GROUP OF LIVING CROSSINGS AND A DRUNKARD.      " ("A"=C1h)
37h,"A SMALL GROUP OF LIVING PEDESTRIAN CROSSINGS AND A DRUNK." ("A"=C1h)

?

35h,"THE ZEBRA BLAMES YOU FOR     INTERRUPTING HIM DURING " ("T"=D4h)
34h,"HIS  GRASS DESSERT AND GIVES YOU A STURDY KICK WITH "
2Eh,"LEFT BACK LEG. BY ACCIDENT HE HITS YOUR HEAD. " ("B"=C2h)
2Bh,"WE THEREFORE PLEAD HOMICIDE...             " ("W"=D7h) <-- 18 spaces.

Shouldn't that be HIND leg?
Also, imho HOMICIDE should be MANSLAUGHTER, to not ruin the joke. Manslaughter and murder are both forms of homicide, with the difference that manslaughter isn't premeditated. The zebra didn't mean to kill you, hence manslaughter.

32h,"WITH POWERFULL STROKES YOU START TO SWIM, BUT THE " ("W"=D7h)

Powerful (and all adjective -ful words) ends in a single 'l'.

2Ah,"IN LIONCAGE I KNOW, YOU CAREFULL BE!"      " <-- 5 spaces.

As with the previous, 'careful' ends in a single 'l'. Also, LION CAGE, two separate words.

34h,"CHANGE. THOUGH HE'S NOT COMPELLED TO DO SO 25 YEARS " ("T"=D4h)

25 years sounds like it's meant to be the Dutch equivalent of life imprisonment. I don't think there's any state in the USA where animal cruelty will give you more than 5 years of imprisonment.

21h,"CENTER SCREEN BEFORE YOU START.  " ("C"=C3h) <- Do not change the 21h!

I think alignment is more appropriate:

      FIRST ALIGN YOUR SCREEN.
2Eh,"PERSISTENCE PAYS (SOMETIMES), SO R.I.P. ...   " ("P"=D0h, "R"=D2h, "I"=C9h and "P"=D0h)

PAYS OFF?

3Bh,"MAAR EEN AANTAL HEB IK ER TE PAKKEN GEHAD, VOORAL DIE GORE "
3Bh,"BUT I TOOK CARE OF SOME OF THEM,    ESCPECIALLY THAT GROSS " ("B"=C2h) <-- Do not change the 3Bh!

I think NASTY is more fitting than GROSS.

By FiXato

Scribe (1710)

FiXato's picture

09-02-2017, 15:59

luppie wrote:

I have the original version (in Dutch), i see that the screenshot is in English.

I wonder if this screenshot was of a work-in-progress English version that never got finished. :)

By ren

Paragon (1877)

ren's picture

09-02-2017, 17:23

And then FiXato came along.. Triggering @gdx's nervous breakdown.. The NeverEnding Translation.. Wink

Some valid points / sharp observations though.. Wink Some clear errors that should be fixed, other stuff could be argued about.
I agreed on WHISKEY since we chose an US 'locale' (so it's Bourbon perhaps.. ;)) (NB: I doubt if C. Kramer was/is actually aware of the difference himself.. ;))

To make it easier for gdx:

Should be fixed:
POWERFULL -> POWERFUL
CAREFULL -> CAREFUL
LIONCAGE -> LION CAGE

Improvements I agree upon:
WELL MAINTAINED -> WELL-MAINTAINED
HOMICIDE -> MANSLAUGHTER (in fact the Dutch says: DOODSLAG, so better indeed.)

"THE TEXT HAS BEEN FADED BY THE SUN. " ->
"THE TEXTS HAVE BEEN FADED BY THE SUN. "

Will look at some other bits later..

- edit: regarding the cover with the screenshot in English.. I think it would be the most funny if the real English version shows up the moment we're finished with this thing.. ;)

By FiXato

Scribe (1710)

FiXato's picture

09-02-2017, 17:43

ren wrote:

- edit: regarding the cover with the screenshot in English.. I think it would be the most funny if the real English version shows up the moment we're finished with this thing.. Wink

I bet that since the author was 30 years younger at the time, this crowd-sourced fan translation will be of higher quality. ;-)

By FiXato

Scribe (1710)

FiXato's picture

09-02-2017, 17:45

ren wrote:

"THE TEXTS HAVE BEEN FADED BY THE SUN. "

If length is an issue, then 'sun-faded' or 'sun-bleached' could also be an option. Smile

By Grauw

Ascended (10074)

Grauw's picture

09-02-2017, 18:06

ren wrote:

"THE TEXT HAS BEEN FADED BY THE SUN. " ->
"THE TEXTS HAVE BEEN FADED BY THE SUN. "

Did you look at it in-game? Next to the cashier. I think text is much better.

By ren

Paragon (1877)

ren's picture

09-02-2017, 19:01

@Grauw: actually, they're the texts next to the map of the Zoo (after entrance).. (Otherwise I would agree) (I can understand the mix-up here Wink)
(..of course now you must wonder what the text(s) next to the cashier say.. Murdoch )

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